30 Days of Truth -- Day 14 & 15

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down
I honestly don't think that this applies to me at all. My only hero is really my mom & she has never let me down. I'll do Day 15 now. :)

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
This is easy --- my family. Up until the past 3-4 years, family wasn't really much to me. I have sooo many family members in abundance and they pissed me off to no end. Always judging me and blaming me for things I hadn't done. Fast foward and then I realize how much I love my family and wouldn't be able to live without them. Honestly, when my mom goes out of town for a conference, I miss her within 24 hours. I don't know how someone could write off their family, but it's been done to 2 parts of my family by 2 sisters, so I guess it happens. Basically my family = my life.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Guilty Pleasures Swap!

It's that time again -- Another of Mamarazzi's amazing swaps is coming up in September & I just signed up to participate! A lot of people voted this time, and the Guilty Pleasures idea won out. I can't wait to find out who my partner is and go shop for things for her to pamper herself with!

Go check out the swap, I know she takes a few new people each time. It is so worth it. I've been active in probably 8 swaps now, but hers was definitely the best & most organized.

:)

Birthday Weekend

Well -- I'm 23 now. And I feel exactly the same as I did when I was 22. lol.

My weekend was very eventful, but not in a good way. I left work 2 hours early on Friday and headed to the nearest big hospital for my good friend. Her fiance was in a motorcycle accident Friday and was lifeflighted. I was there until about 11 PM, and then I gave her a ride home.

He's in bad condition, but he's hanging on which is all that can be hoped for at this point. Someone was driving like an ass, slammed on their brakes with him behind them, and he lost control. He was sent over a 10ft drop, and landed with the bike on top of him. He was lucky someone was behind him, because he wasn't visible from the roadway. He was taken to the local hospital, then life flighted, as they didn't have the means to keep him alive.

By the time we got there, he had been there for a little over 2 hours. He was in ICU and on a ventilator. The good news was that he was (and still is) breathing over the ventilator. He has full movement of his body. He reacts to painful stimuli. He has crushed vertebrates, but spinal cord is intact. He relaxes when his woman or his mom talk to him. His skull was fractured. He is in a coma -- NOT medically induced. He has yet to wake up, and it's been 72 hours now. This morning, he regained his gag reflex, and he has been coughing. While this is small news, it's good news.

Today is his 29th birthday. We're all hoping for a birthday miracle for all involved, hope he shows some more signs of improvement today.

I didn't do much all weekend. I was exhausted and worried and just wanted to sleep. We shopped a bit on Saturday. Sunday I had a family get together and we swam & ate. It was nice. I'll celebrate my birthday sometime soon, I hope. :)

Birthday Curse

I always refer to it in a joking way, but it's obviously not a joke. It struck again and this time it's horrible and if you're the praying type, I need prayers right now.

One of my closest friend's fiance is being Life Flighted as we speak. He was in a motorcyle accident earlier today. As if it wasn't bad enough, they have a 3 month old son.

I honestly feel numb right now. Every year around this time something like this happens. 3 years ago, it was his little brother. So everyone please just pray for him, pray for her, pray for the entire family.

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days

Dear Nirvana,
I know this is so cliche, but your music is one of the only reasons I survived my teenage years. As soon as I heard Kurt Cobain's voice, I fell in love. All I wanted was more, more, more... except he was dead, so the band was no more. About a year after I discovered your music, "You Know You're Right" came out for the first time, and I absolutely loved it. I read everything I could on the band and Kurt. I bought books, T shirts, I wished and wished I had been older in the early 1990's so I could have had a chance to come to a concert. A lot of people say you guys weren't good musicians and that Kurt had a horrible voice and sucked at guitar. I don't know why they say that, or if it's true to them, but to me, your music will never die. I still love turning it up on my car radio and rocking out when I'm taking a long drive. I still have all of my black T shirts with your name on them. I still have half of a bookshelf filled with books about you.
Love,
Another Faithful Fan



Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

30 Days of Truth -- Day 12

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
I wouldn't really say there's one thing I never get complimented on. If there's something I rarely get complimented on -- it's my style. And when I do get compliments, it's from someone who also dresses & lives like me, or we're at a festival. I don't mind though, I've always been original, and I love the way I dress. Whether it's considered "fashion" or not, I love it. :)

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

*Our New House*

Although we have to wait another 4-6 weeks to move in, we are getting so excited about our new place! The background story is this -- for the past month or so, J and I have been looking for a place that was big enough for us and our critters, in our price range, and above all else actually allowed our pets. After quite a few disappointments (including one 2 bedroom "house" that we got lost looking for, turned out to be a trailer in the middle of nowhere in a mini trailer park), we found a promising idea surprisingly close to home. As in -- my best friend's family owns the house and rents it out, along with about 10 other homes in the area!

So, not only are we getting a house that meets all our expectations, we're getting a discount because her mom loves us! Honestly, she offered me a $50/month discount for J to mow the grass. We aren't even moving in til full on fall is here, so that was definitely agreeable!

The house is great! You walk into a little foyer, which connects to the living room as well as the dining room. Their set up is kind of weird, at an angle, so it's hard to explain. The LR & DR are open to each other, so I am thinking that will all be living room/computer/sewing machine area. Next, is the kitchen, which compared to my mom's house is HUGE!!! There's tons of cupboard space, and lots of windows. There's enough room in the kitchen for our table & chairs, so those will go in there. Right off the kitchen is the bathroom -- TINY. Every house on the street is pretty old (early 1900's), and all have small bathrooms. I've lived in 2 of the houses before, so I was expecting this. Then we have 2 bedrooms which are about the same size. One will be our room (duh) and one will have our ferrets, along with other stuff including the xBox 360 & TV. Basically, we have tons of room. :)

Now, the one downside, and I honestly don't even think of it as a downside anymore. But, within the last year, the last residents both died in the house. Not only that, but I knew both of them. One was my mom's friend who died in her sleep. The other was her husband who committed suicide. Now, honestly, it would be creepier if I knew either of them better, or had ever been in their house. We only knew each other in passing, and I had never been in the house while it was theirs. So to me, it's just a house. Not to mention, they were both the most peaceful people, I really don't see any issues with this.

So far, we have basically everything we need. We keep remembering that we had this or that in our last apartment. Or that in the garage is a complete dining room table set, end tables, and a coffee table. So basically, we're crossing things off our "NEEDS" list pretty quickly, and should have everything in the next 4 weeks. I even started shopping for vinyl wall art today. I can't wait to have my living room with the beautiful trees and hummingbird vinyls I have picked out. YAY!

Now, all that's left to do is wait and save money. We've got enough saved up for first, last, and deposit, as well as to get everything turned on in our names. J is telling me we don't need DVR and cable right away, and I'm telling him YES I DO, that's right in the middle of fall TV, I am not going without and I will pay for it alllll myself if I have to! That's the only thing I will not give up!

Ahhhh I just can't wait :)

30 Days of Truth -- Day 11

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on

Physically -- My eyes, they're really green, really big, and I'm always smiling which makes them stand out.

Other -- My talent & desire to succeed. People are usually surprised, because I don't always look so put-together, or like I would be doing the things I'm doing. I want to own my own business, I want to be successful, and I will do anything that I have to to succeed. And people are just amazed at the things I come up with. I won't lie --- sometimes, I am too. And I'm surprised I succeed. But I'm happy.


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Another Day, Another Day....

My weekend was honestly great, but I had one moment of sheer panic and anger Friday evening that I am compelled to write about... but that will come in a minute...

For now -- GOOD NEWS!!!!!! J & I got our own place! We move in the next 4-6 weeks, it has a lot of work to be done, but it's big, nice, and in a good location for us. We are psyched! :)

Now on to the moment that broke my heart Friday. After work, J and I decided to go shopping and out to eat. Figured since my birthday is coming up we'd take it easy on the wallet this week and eat out somewhere semi-cheap. We decided on the new Chinese place in our mall. We got seated, and started eating. About 2 seconds later a cute little family walked through the door, and my heart hit the floor. It was my older sister, her husband, and their kids. Now in any normal family relationship, this wouldn't be an akward or painful situation, but in mine -- it is. She stared right at me, acknowledged who I was, and continued walking to their table. I had that moment where I was like "is this really happening"... but it was. I was so much in shock that I couldn't even tell J who it was. He had never met her, the last time we talked was about 2 months before I got with him.

Now, there's not even really much of a back story to this. I have known her my entire life, even before I met my dad. A few days after I moved in with him, she came over and took myself and our 2 younger sisters out for dinner, then I stayed the night at her house. She seemed completely fine. Then I never heard from her again. I only met my oldest neice a few times, and now she has 2 other kids who I have never laid eyes on (until Friday). Not only does this whole situation hurt me, but it hurts the 2 younger sisters, as they have no idea why she is being like this. I have been told by other members of her family that she was "jealous" that I moved in. I had no idea why she would be, I was forced to move in and it didn't last long. And now, I believe she was and maybe still is. I thought I was over it til she looked right through me, then I realized it still hurts me, but above all else PISSES ME OFF. She gave up on her 2 youngest sisters, blowing them off and completely missed watching them grow into the beautiful, smart young girls they are. They are 16 and 17, and have so much ahead of them. She completely missed out on the last 5 years of their lives. All because I was forced to move in with them.

Anyways, after Friday, I secured her address from someone we both know, and will be sending her a letter, letting her know exactly how I feel and what I think about her being out of her sisters lives. And then I'm going to drop it. I don't even WANT her to talk to me. But I would like her to acknowledge the other two, because it kills me to see them so confused & hurt by her actions.

Ahhhh....

Gotta keep my mind off of it. I am soo glad Mockingjay comes out today. I'm having J pick it up after work, so I will have it by the time I get home. So after I cook dinner, I will be snuggled up, indulging in the wonderful world of The Hunger Games.

((peacelovehope))

30 Days of Truth -- Day 10

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
At this point in my life, I have honestly let go of SO many people that I don't feel this applies to me at all. I have been working this past year on getting ALL the negatives and fake people out of my life. At this time --- everyone in my life means something to me. If you're not part of my life, you don't matter anymore.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

30 Days of Truth -- Day 9

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted
I don't think this has happened to me very often, honestly. The one that sucks the most is a girl I met in high school and became INSTANT fast, furious friends with. We got ourselves into a LOT of trouble, and that continued for four years. She met a guy, fell madly in love with him, and ever since then we've been drifting. Then she got pregnant, and we got close again. I love that little man of hers, he's adorable. The problem here --- her fiance hates my guts. And I have no idea why. I'm not a slutty, drunk best friend who tries to get her into trouble. He drinks more than I do. He thinks I am a "bad influence"... so we continue to drink. I won't be in her wedding. I barely see her and her son, only when the man of the house is working. I still don't want to let her go, so I won't. I'll get what I can when I can, but we have and continue to drift. It sucks. :(


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

30 Days of Truth -- Day 8

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit
This is a good time of year for this one. I feel like making this a letter.

Dear ex boyfriend of over 5 years ago,
I know that when we got together you were a player. And I thought you changed for me. We spent every.single.day of summer 2005 together. Then I got arrested and had to move in with my dad who I never met. Even then, you were perfect to me. You came to dinner to meet them, so we could hang out even more. You were always up for hanging out with my friends. You offered to let me move in with you as soon as I turned 18. --- fast forward exactly 18 days --- My 18th birthday arrives. The night before was spent with the girls, drinking and being merry. I headed to your house around 3AM and got into bed with you. The next day we woke up and got ready to go to a nice dinner with my parents. They paid. We dropped you off at home, and things were just fine. You called me 2 hours later and said we needed to talk. You told me things were changing & that you thought we should go on a break. Ten minutes later you were telling people you were single. That was my 18th birthday. The next day was the first day of school and that's when I met the man I'm with now. But it took a long time to erase you from my mind. In fact, sometimes I still worry about the aftermath you put into my life. Like 6 months later when I went for my annual pap & birth control appointment, and was informed I had chlamydia. Or 2 weeks after that when I was discussing it with a friend and was informed that THE SAME DAY I moved in with my dad you slept with my "best friend" and that's where the STD came from. Or when you contacted my boyfriend countless times trying to break us up. Either way, you put me through hell, you ruined my outlook on life for awhile, but I'm still better than you.
Love
FUCK YOU
"The most amazing person you had"* but will never have again

*His words... I hope he chokes on them everytime he sees me with my man. :)



Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

WTF?!

All day, I thought it was Friday --- Now this is a huge problem for me! Because now, tomorrow, I will sit at my desk, pray the day goes quick, and be happy that I get paid all over again. I have 2 huge calendars within eyeshot of my seat. Why, oh why, didn't I notice that it was only Thursday?!
.
.
Tonight, I will go home, work out, shower. Then eat. I wonder if it's better to workout AFTER eating. Hmm. It doesn't seem to make me any hungrier.
.
.
This weekend, I have hopes to get a lot of things accomplished. I'm not sure if this will actually happen or not, but we'll see. I want to do another flea market in 2 weeks, so I have to build up inventory. HAVE TO -- if I don't, it'll be a wasted weekend. Urgh.
.
.
In 9 days, I'll be 23. I'm starting to feel old. A lot of people my age are married and have kids already. We're are just starting to look for another place of our own. My mommy is back on her feet. It took 2 years, but I am proud of how well we all got along in the same house. Only a few blow up fights. Yay for us.
.
.
Yesterday, my mom got a wedding invitation in the mail. It was addressed to Mr & Mrs *my stepdad's full name*.... This would not be taken as RUDELY as it was, had it not been from my stepdad's neice. She lives in our town, she is well aware he is not here with us, she is a freaking idiot. I got home to my mom crying on our front porch. Nothing makes me angrier than seeing my mom cry. Especially over something so rude. There is no tact whatsoever involved in this wedding. One -- she's a skank, she cheats on him all the time & he is an idiot for marrying her. Two -- they've both been in and out of jail for the past 4 years. Three -- they're getting married on the day a close family friend was killed in a tragic car accident. Of course, they invited his parents and told them "we want to make it a happy day".... It can be a happy day for them, because I know I won't be gracing them with my presence. I can't speak for my mom, but I hope she doesn't either because everything to them is a pity party with showing "how much" they miss my stepdad by bringing him up every 5 minutes and causing tears to flow. It's so disrespectful.
.
.
I'm just venting basically. I will be back soon with a good post, I promise.
.
.

love

30 Days of Truth -- Day 7

Day 7 -- Someone who Has Made your Life Worth Living For
.
This is a very easy one. The man I love. I know it's corny & cliche, but for us, it's true. When we met, I was 18 and he was 2 weeks shy of 15. Everyone was judgmental and made a huge deal out of it. I was going through some pretty heavy stuff and I thought he would just be a rebound. What started as hanging out every once in awhile turned into every.single.day, we started spending every weekend together at his sister's house. His mom hated me. My mom didn't hate him, but didn't approve of the trouble the relationship was causing. His mom turned me in for statutory rape. I went through all that because something in him just made me SO much happier than I had been in years. And now, five years later, I'm so happy I did it. There have been days when I just wished I could die, but coming home to him made it all okay. There's just something about him that can calm me, drive me crazy, make me smile like nothing else ever has. And I absolutely love it. He is definitely worth living for.


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

30 Days of Truth -- Day 6

Day 6 -- Something You Hope You Never Have To Do
There are quite a few things I hope I never have to do. The main one was never a fear until my stepdad died. I gained a lot of fears from the incident. But, the thing I hope I never have to do is to lose my significant other to death tragically. I know death is a part of life. I've been to plenty of funerals and watched a lot of my loved ones put to rest. There can be no pain comparable to putting your significant other to rest. My mom and stepdad were married for 15 years, together for 18. If I could have taken her pain from her, I would have. Another family friend whose girlfriend of years died of a drug overdose, he was the same way. There's just this dark cloud of horrible, unimaginable pain surrounding them and I don't think I am strong enough to make it through that.
.
Another thing I hope to never have to do is have a child. People look at me crazy when I say this, but I'm serious. I don't want kids and never have! I love kids, just not my own, not 24/7. I don't think that will ever change. If it does, I will have a lot of "I told you so" people just waiting to call me on it. I don't want to be pregnant -- it sounds HORRIBLE. Stretch marks, something moving around inside you, being careful of everything because so many things could be bad for the baby. I don't want to go through birth. I don't care how beautiful it is -- I do not want something coming out of me like that, ripping me open, or even worse -- a c-section. Then spending the rest of my life worrying my heart out for every little thing that can and probably will happen. I don't trust this world enough to bring a child into it.
.
.
.
.
So there are the 2 things I hope I never have to do. One is very preventable and one is fate. And I'll just keep my fingers crossed that neither of them happens to me.
.
.
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

30 Days of Truth -- Day 5

Day 5 -- Something You Hope to Do in Your Life
Well this is easy. The one thing I've been wanting to do for the past 5-6 years is to open my bookstore. I have a business plan, I have ideas, I have the schooling, I just need to get some money behind my venture and do it. I think it's a great idea, and I think I'd be successful. My plan is to open a new & used bookstore, with a coffee shop, and maybe more. With helping my dad run his business for the past 5 years, going to business school, and running my own side business right now, I am just racking up the experience that I'll need to secure a loan and a place to do this. I'm just waiting for the time to be right. And I honestly cannot wait. :)


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Been a Long Time*

So, 30 Days of Truth kind of took over my blog, so here's a real post for my 24 followers :) (I love you all)!

.

The past week has been good to me! I worked, I worked out, I made stuff, and I relaxed. All of those things make me a happy girl. I realized that even though I just got done with school in June, that I may be a little bit too bored without school in my life. I have to find something else to do to fill my time. I've been reading like a fiend.

.

.

The boy and I have been spending lots of quality time together, which is one amazing part of no school. So I guess it's not all boring. Last week, we rented movies for the first time in months and actually got to watch 2 of them together :) I really want NetFlix, but then I realize that we have no time to watch movies with all the other stuff we both do. Basically, times like last week make me realize how lucky I am to have been with someone for 5 years and not be bored or hate each other. We've been together longer than some married people I know, and I just love it. :)

.

.

.

My weekend was fabulous as well, although I didn't really do much. I like it better that way sometimes. Friday after work, I worked out, and then rescued 2 baby (infant!) squirrels from my mom's friend's backyard. We have this awesome non-profit rehabilitation place for animals about 20 minutes away, so we took them there. They were kinda creepy, but the girl who was there when we dropped them off said they were probably only a few days old. They were freezing, so we wrapped them up in a towel and my sister was breathing on them the entire drive there. The warmer they got, they were more active, so I knew we were doing a good deed. :)

At first we weren't sure what they were, but as soon as we talked to the people at the rehab, they knew what they were. I knew they weren't rats because of the thick tails, but both those pictures are a pretty good show of what they were doing the whole time we had them.
.
.
.
After that my sister and I just chilled at home, watched Bad Girls Club and laughed. I like nights like that. Saturday was my brother's 21st birthday, but he started celebrating at midnight (technically Friday to meee), so he wasn't up to going out again Saturday. Instead, I hung out at home all day, working on tie dyes, and then a group of us went to the county fair. It was pretty fun, I ate greasy foods, drank smoothies, and we watched this guy carve cool stuff with a chainsaw. All in all a successful evening.
.
.
.
Sunday was my BFF's son (my fake nephew) first birthday party. It was tie dye themed, which turned out amazing. :) We got him a power wheels 4 wheeler, and he loved it! I was so mad at myself, I didn't open it to put together til Sunday morning, and the first thing you see is a paper saying STOP DO NOT USE THIS PRODUCT UNTIL BATTERY HAS CHARGED 18 HOURS!!!!! COME ON!!!! So we put it together, put the stickers on, and he was sitting/trying to ride it his entire party BUT thanks to my incompetence, he couldn't ride it til this morning. His mom has sent me proof that he absolutely loves it though. :) Yay I'm the favorite fake aunt.
.
.
.
After the party, I needed a nap. I think the 95* weather is starting to wear me down. We usually only have 2-3 weeks of this, and it's been going on for well over a month. After my nap there was a huge thunderstorm, but that didn't do much in the cooling down department, unfortunately. I guess it's better than a cold summer, so I can't complain too much.
.
.
.
My plans for the week include: finishing my tie dye stuff, making some hoops & hemps, hanging out with the boyfriend, having an authentic Italian dinner with my Papa tonight, laundry, cleaning, organization of bookshelves, and working of course. I hope to finish reading a few more books... Still waiting ever so patiently for Mockingjay to be released in a week and a day. (I pre-ordered, of course). I just can't wait to see how it ends.
.
.
.
My birthday is in less than 2 weeks. I have no plans. My man and BFF keep asking what I want. Honestly -- I can't really think of anything. It's gonna be weird because BFF who moved away and I share the same birthday. She's 8 hours older. This is the first time in ever we won't be together on our birthdays. My birthday has always had some huge disappointment in store for me, aside from last year. So we'll see how it goes this year. I just hope I can come up with some sort of fun plan for us to do something. It's on a Saturday, so that counts for something. :0)
.
.
.
((peacelovehope))

Day 4 -- Something You Have to Forgive Someone For
I knew what I was going to write as soon as I saw this one. In the past year, I have been trying very hard to forgive my father, and I think I have made a lot of progress. What do I need to forgive him for? Making the choice, at age 17, that left me without him for the majority of my life. When my mom got pregnant, she was 16, they were juniors in high school, and it was the 80's. Oh, not to mention, my dad already had a daughter (he started at 14). So basically -- sticky situation. However, my dad's remedy was that they should be married immediately. My mom didn't agree. So he had nothing to do with me, ever. Yeah, I got child support. But I never met him. Apparently there were quite a few run-ins when I was too young to understand or remember. I knew my older sister my entire life, as a friend, but wasn't told she was my sister til I was 8 or 9 (I think that was a good choice on our mom's part). Basically, I spent my first 17 years without a "real" dad --- I had the most amazing, loving, wonderful stand in from age 6 on, though, so it wasn't all bad. I think that he thought he was doing the right thing. So when I was 17 and got arrested, and my mom brought me to his house straight from the police station to drop me off --- it was a shock. I got to meet my stepmom, my father, and 2 little sisters all at once. It was overwhelming and crazy to say the least. Basically, since that day (August 10, 2005 if you wanna know), I have been trying to forgive him. I think he was young and stupid (I can't imagine being in that position at that age) and trying to do what was best for all involved. It just wasn't the greatest idea. I'm very happy with the way I was raised and how I turned out, so I don't regret not knowing him. I think I would be a completely different person and maybe not so happy.... So, I'm on the way to forgiving the neglect.


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

30 Days of Truth -- Day 3

Day 3 - Something You Have To Forgive Yourself For
I thought about this one all last night, and I think I came to the best conclusion. The one thing that I feel guilty for but have never told anyone... The night my stepdad was in his accident, I got home from school and was warming up dinner. I looked at my mom and said "Where is Mike?" She didn't know, his phone was dead. For the next 10 minutes I was thinking to myself "Damnit he fell off the wagon again, he is out drinking and isn't gonna come home, I can't believe he woudl do this when he was doing so good." I thank god everyday that I didn't say any of this outloud, because then we got the knock on our door that would change our lives forever.... And my thoughts were wrong, and I feel soo guilty because he WASN'T out doing that. Instead he was actually dead in the back of an ambulance on his way to a morgue. How horrible am I to have thought that?! I can't believe I'm even typing this right now, but it's the truth, and this is 30 days of truth...... and now, I 100% wish that my thoughts that night WERE true, because even if he had relapsed and been drinking, he would have gotten sober again, and we'd still have him here today... and I wouldn't have spent the last 2 years wishing every single day that he would come walking back in the door, saying he missed us. =[
.
.
.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

30 Days of Truth -- Day 2

Day 2 - Something You Love About Yourself
Well, this one is a bit easier. The one thing about myself, above all else, that I love is this: The honest love I have for other people. I have the ability to open myself up and love with NO regrets. If you are someone who I love, family, friend, lover, you have every opportunity to hurt me because I love so openly. With that love, though, comes honesty. If you do something that is stupid or endangering someone/yourself, you better bet that I will be right there bitching at you and telling you what you should/could/need to do to fix it. As I wrote about the other day, this can come back to bite me in the ass. But when I see people who have no idea how to love someone else, even their own flesh and blood, I thank my lucky stars that I was raised to love, care for, and help the people you care about in their times of need. If I didn't love people like I do, who would I turn to during the times when I need someone to lean on? I just think this is the most amazing quality my mom instilled in me and am thankful for that. =]
.
.
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

30 Days of Truth -- Day 1

I saw this on a few blogs today, and decided to try it out for myself. Since I only post on weekdays, it'll take a little longer, but it'll definitely get done!

Day 1 -- Something You Hate About Yourself
Hmm... this is a tough one, but the thing I hate most about myself is that I always, always, always HAVE to be doing something. I graduated college 2 weeks ago and am already starting to miss the added stress of school on top of working 45 hour weeks, taking care of my man, my family & our animals, and my side business. I was never like this til a few years ago, and it does help me to get tons of things done, but it sucks. I usually have plans a week or two in advance, so if anyone ever wants to do something spur of the moment, for the most part I have to say no.

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Success!

My weekend was absolutely amazing! I'm working on uploading all of my pictures, maybe I'll be able to do a picture post tomorrow or Friday. =]
.
.
.
Thursday after work, we headed a few towns over to finish up our shopping. This was quick and easy, then we ate Sonic. I haven't been eating ANY fast food, and immediately had a stomach ache. YAY. Not. But, came home, finished packing the car, and went to bed relatively early!
.
.
.
Friday morning I was awakened by my mom screaming my name, which is never good. Come to find out, the trunk hadn't closed entirely the night before, and a raccoon got in and ate all the powdered donuts (breakfast for one morning) out of the trunk. He left the 3 plain donuts. Obviously -- he had good taste! So, that was a good laugh. We ate breakfast, finished getting ready, said bye to the animals, and headed out. We were on the road by 9:45, right on schedule.
.
.
.
Around 1, we finally got to the town, to meet up with the girl who was buying our extra tickets. We quickly ran into Wal*Mart for the few things we forgot, and then headed down the road to the venue. When we got there, it was just WOW. This place was perfect for a festival. The stage was set up at the bottom of a bowl, so the ENTIRE hill was a perfect viewing area. No matter where you sat/stood/danced/hooped, you could hear and see the music being played. There was a HUGE stage, alongside a smaller stage, so the bands alternated between stages, with usually no more than 5 minutes between bands. Absolutely perfect. The only downfall was having to park and carry your stuff for 5 minutes to your campsite. We found a pretty good spot and made our 5-6 trips, set up camp, and started meeting people. =]
.
.
.
Friday night was great! We laid on the hill and caught 2 bands we'd never heard of. One was AMAZING until they sang (which they only sang in a few of their songs), the second was even better. After the show ended on the main stages (midnight), the music continued at the art tent, which was about 2 seconds away from our campsite (YES!). The art tent was absolutely amazing! Not only was there bands & DJs playing all night, there were 5-6 artists painting live, selling paintings, and body painting alllllll weekend.
.
.
.
Saturday we woke up and followed the shade. It was close to 100* all weekend, so we wanted to stay cool and not die. We ate shaved ice & smoothies from a great vendor, brought our sheet and just lazed around, listening to the bands, people watching, and shopping vendors. We met up with a couple from our area and hung with them for awhile. They were very nice. It's always great to meet awesome new people! Saturday afternoon we ran into a good friend, he was there alone, so we hung out with him pretty much the rest of the night.
.
.
.
Sunday was the laziest day, but also FLEW by, which was great. We found a perfect spot by the installation art (I'll post pictures of it), under a few trees, next to a pond, and just laid there for HOURS. I think we went down there around 11am and around 5pm realized we should probably go eat some dinner. I finished a book, he napped, then I napped, and he visited our friend. There was a hooping on a surfboard competition on the pond too, so that was cool. I can't swim very well, so I didn't try. lol. We made some turkey meat tacos for dinner, then headed back to the stage to catch some music. After an eventful set from The Werks (the generator failed for about 20 minutes in the middle of their set), we headed to the tent and caught the acoustic set Papadosio was putting on, then headed back to the site. We threw ALL our extra wood on the fire and chilled there for the rest of the night, since we paid $25 for the wood... Our state has this new law in place where you can't move firewood to other counties because of some kind of bug that is ruining trees. Either way, it sucks. I have an unlimited amount of wood available to me, but since they're cracking down we end up having to pay even more for a weekend of camping.
.
.
.
All in all, my weekend was perfect. We bought a painting, wishing we could have afforded to buy this trio of monkey art, but it was $250/piece, so that was definitely out of the question for now. Spent a lot of quality time together, which we rarely get to be together alone, except at night and we're both tired and cranky by then... It was just a perfect weekend and I am definitely looking forward to next summer doing it all again. =]
.
.
.
*AND --- Our tent & air mattress both got ruined, but the weekend was so great it overshadowed the anger. lol. We are shopping for new of both, we've had them for 3 summers now, so we definitely got our use out of them. =]
.
.
.
Book 49: Dead & Gone - Charlaine Harris
Book 50: Pretty in Plaid - Jen Lancaster .... Wow I looooved this! I started it Monday afternoon and finished it last night. This woman is hilarious, sarcastic & I love everything about her. I can't wait to read her other books. =]

Time for Change

After this week, I have decided it's time to make a change in my life, and I'm going to go through with it starting NOW. For too long I have let other people's needs/wants/wishes control what I do. And I am completely sick of it. Done trying to help other people because it does nothing but bite me in the ass. It sucks that I love people so much, so hard that it ends up hurting me. I have a VERY big heart and love to love people. I love my boyfriend, my family, my friends SO much, so when someone does something that hurts, it hurts me really deep. Before, I have always let it go after time to cool down. But I am done being the one who is hurt and says/does nothing. It's not fair to me. My world doesn't really ever revolve around me, but from here on out... IT WILL.

.

.

.

.

I've been shown over and over again that some people just aren't cut out to be true friends, because there's always something that will take the front seat over everything in their lives, including family or their own kids. Basically, a LOT of people suck. I hate drugs. I hate that people will do SO MUCH to hide their addiction, when it would probably be less work to just admit it, go through withdrawal and start over fresh. Instead, lies, deception, and fakeness are the way people choose to go, and too many people get hurt in the process.

.

.

.

I've decided to start cutting people out of my life who don't deserve to be there. I work HARD for everything I have. I had my fun, partying throughout my teenage years. I was NOT a good kid. I did everything and anything I could, because I could. I sat in a juvenile detention center for 30 days because I wasn't a good kid. I got suspended from school 3 times because I wasn't a good kid. I moved in and out of my mom's house because I wasn't a good kid. BUT I LEARNED FROM ALL THAT. I haven't been arrested since I became an adult. I graduated high school WITH HONORS despite all of that stuff I did over those 4 years. I just graduated college WITH HONORS, even though I've dealt with a death every 6 months, job loss, finding a new job, financial aid problems, etc. I guess since I overcome every problem I'm face with, I don't see why other people won't just TRY to overcome their own problems. Instead, they think lying is the easiest way out. It's scary and sad when there are other, smaller, more important lives involved in the messes being made.

.

.

.

.

Reading.... wow I haven't updated this in FOREVER..

Book 44: Dead to the World - Charlaine Harris

Book 45: Dead As a Doornail - Charlaine Harris

Book 46: Definitely Dead - Charlaine Harris
Book 47: All Together Dead - Charlaine Harris

Book 48: From Dead to Worse - Charlaine Harris

.

.

I guess you could say I've been OBSESSED with the Sookie Stackhouse books. I literally read one every 4-5 days. I have 2 more to go and then I'm all done, so then I can move on to the growing stack of other books I need to read. Even though these are the only thing I've been reading, I've been buying at least one book a week, as always. I get Borders coupons in my email and I feel like if I'm not using the 40% off it's a waste when I will eventually buy & read a book, ya know? I'm also stopping in to Borders tonight, because they're having a "buy 2 paperbacks, get one free" sale, and I'm a sucker!

.

.

We also have to finish packing (started last night), pack the car, go buy food & drinks for the weekend, and glow sticks of course. I also want to stop and buy some new panties. Somehow in the past month a LOT of my undies have gone missing. How?! I have no idea. I do my own laundry and have searched, they just aren't findable. Kinda weird, if you ask me. I won't be buying too much in the clothing department because I AM LOSING WEIGHT. I'm at Day 11 on The Shred, and am noticably smaller. Not by much, but still. My size 9's are loose, and my size 7's look okay, but I want them to look LOOSE or GREAT. I am taking today, tomorrow, Saturday & Sunday off, because I'll be busy tonight and in the wilderness all weekend.... but there are yoga classes I will be attending at the festival. Then Monday it will be back to reality, well Tuesday technically because we are heading home early Monday afternoon. No work til Tuesday. =] YAY.

.

.

.

Anyways, I'm done rambling for today. After typing the first 3 paragraphs, I feel a ton better. I have a feeling with my newfound freedom from other people's issues, and my weekend coming up, my day will get MUCH better. I guess there's always good mixed in with the bad. Balance makes the world go round.

.

.

.

*peace*love*hope*

4 Days & Counting---

My weekend was absolutely amazing!! Friday night, I did the Shred -- Levels 1 and 2. I figured I slacked on Thursday I might as well make up for it! Then I worked on new hemps and hoops for the festival we're going to this weekend! Grocery shopped with my sister and didn't get home til close to 11.

A lot of people wonder why we get SO excited about music festivals and all they entail.... here's a few pictures to give you an idea of what exactly we do on these weekend trips....

This weekend, we have a few hoop performers to look forward to, and I also have MY new LED hoop, as well as hoops I'm taking to sell.... these girls are some of the performers we'll be seeing.

Kick ass campsites..... we usually have a lot of people, this time, only the boy & I are going, but I have met a few people online who are also going and can't wait to meet them! Hoping we have some bombass neighbors. Bad neighbors tend to ruin the experience by the end of the first night. lol.

Glow sticks... I know they're for kids, but for this weekend, I'm like a grown up kid. I freaking LOVE glowsticks, and anything else that lights up or flashes. I'm a raver at heart.

This is the other place we normally go to, and this weekend is at a new place, so I don't think there's a beach, but there is swimming, hooping & a BIG forest! It's in the Hocking Hills in Southern Ohio. =]

The best part of festivals is the above.... GREAT groups of people. For the most part, everyone feels the same way as you do about a lot of things. But if they don't, they're also accepting to differences, which is AMAZING. There's nothing I love more than walking down trails at festies and seeing people smile and say hi to you even though they don't know you. You make a lot of friends at stuff like this if you're open minded enough to speak to strangers.

I think a lot of people just dismiss events such as these as big huge drug fests. Which, to a lot of people, they can be. I partake in stuff on weekends like this that I don't (and never would) do everyday. But to me, that's part of enjoying the music & the atmosphere.

This fest is set up SO differently than anything we've ever been to, and I am so excited for it. There are workshops ALL weekend for different things -- yoga, hooping, drumming, dancing, environmental awareness, etc... Everything there will be seperated and recycled.... Nitrous tanks will be confiscated (thank god, that shit's whack).... The focus is on music AS WELL AS arts such as dance, painting, DJs, hooping, drumming, etc.... Basically it's looking like an amazing weekend and that's what I'm crossing my fingers for!

As for the next 4 days -- My best friend's grandpa passed away on Friday, so SHE'S HOME. I guess karma really does love me. Maybe the world knew what was going to happen so that's why she was kept home from my graduation, so that she could afford to come home for her grandpa's services. I'll be spending as much time with her as humanly possible. I'll be packing my stuff for this weekend. I'll be trying to figure out how to turn these sweet ass LED light flashing balls into some poi for the weekend, and charging my camera, my LED hoop, and my MP3 player. I'll be finishing up laundry and working on more hoops & hemps to sell while we're there. I hope it flies by, but I hope it goes slow so I have time with my BFF. I'm gonna miss her when she leaves again (which will be Thursday, I think). =[ Boo.

((peace)) love ((hope))